Journal Entries of Arauka Rochir

These are the Journal Entries of Arauka Rochir. Shortly after Arauka's reincarnation, he decided to start documenting his own feelings and happenings in his journal, so that incase he were to ever die again, the world would know who Arauka Rochir was and what he went through, right down to his last moments.

Entry 1: Life After Death
   After a series of unfortunate events and encounters, I, Arauka Rochir, have decided to write a record of my happenings and misfortunes. I have just recently returned from the world of the dead, I was brought back by my traveling companion Jolix, a half-breed descended from the Elves of the Scarlet Wind. The cause of my demise was an unfortunate encounter that I had with a succubus and, while it is unlike me to fall prey to such desires, I’m afraid that I was unprepared for her advances, I also believe that, at the time, I was too naïve to fully understand what her intentions were. I guess that because of this experience, I will be more aware of the deceptive charms of not only the fairer sex but, also the deceptive ways of other beings as well.

While I was being brought back from the dead I was under the impression that I would return as I had left, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. I came back as something unfamiliar and alien to me. I….I’m not sure how to react to this…I feel in my inner being as if I have lost something precious to me. Before this event transpired I was a proud Wildland Elf but now I…I am no longer what I once was. I am at a loss for words to express my anguish, my sadness, and my despair. My Elvish heritage is everything to me, my way of life, my security, and my comfort, and to have all of that taken from me is too much for me to bear. If I had known that this was to happen than I never would have come back! I would have taken the hand dealt to me by fate and I would have continued to rest in peace, at least that way, I would have died as I had lived a proud Wildland Elf. Being as I am, how can I return to the way of life that I had once known and loved…how can I return to the world of Elves when I am no longer an Elf…? How can I return to my family when I am no longer one of them? How can I live my life when I am robbed of my way of life? The form I now have is not the issue at hand but rather, the fact that I am no longer what I once was. I feel as if I have been reborn but with nothing to call my own. No family, no linage, nothing but the ground beneath my feet, and I do not feel motivated to walk a new path, nor do I want to find a new path when I have one already marked out beneath my feet, but one that I can no longer transverse because of my new form. Perhaps I should postpone my quest to obtain my draconic heritage and instead try to recover my Elvish heritage. For I feel that life is not worth living if I must live my life with this feeling of loss. Would I even be able to find someone who can restore me to my previous form out here in the god-forsaken island? Now that I think about it, Jolix told me about a group of bronze dragons that live on this island, maybe they can help me, and even if they cannot, maybe they know of someone who can. I may even be able accomplish my original goal and recover my previous form…at least I can try or maybe I could end it all here, though, I’d hate to die here again, especially in the miserable state.

Upon my return my companions seemed overjoyed, of course with the exception Malic, he doesn’t even seem fazed at my passing…do I really mean that little to this escapade…? Rummlesnuff was so overjoyed when he saw me he even started to cry and, in all honesty, so did I. I buried my face into Rummlesnuff’s chest and tried to hide my tears from the rest of the party, for many personal reasons but mainly out of sheer embarrassment, for the shame of being caught in that temptresses' trap still hangs on me and I doubt that it will go away anytime soon. Uilliem appeared as if he had mixed feelings about my return. He actually seems as if he only valued me for my skills and abilities rather than having me in the group. He also seems to think it’s amusing seeing me in such a depressing state. Because of this he has been grating on my nerves now more than ever and his teasing has started to infuriate me even more than it used to. I’m afraid that if he doesn’t keep quiet I will eventually lose my temper completely with him, and when I do, I have a feeling that the end result will be rather unsightly. I have yet to get a good idea of how Jolix feels about me returning…considering that he brought me back I’m assuming that he values me for more than simply my skills or abilities. Maybe I should try to improve our relationship a bit more…as for everyone else I’m not sure how they feel…I would inquire of them but I am not sure if now is the right time, for as I am writing this the sun is dipping below the western horizon and night is nearly upon us. Perhaps it is time for me to retire for the night, this new form tires out much quicker than my old one did. I sincerely cannot wait until I recover my old form…